“My biggest turn off is when someone doesn’t appreciate the little things you do for them… and bad breath!” ~ Anonymous guy friend
You may be wondering if, just like women, there are specific turn-offs for guys, too. Men might seem complicated at first, but they can actually be understood pretty easily.
All it takes is paying attention and knowing what really matters to them through their perspective.
What I mean by this is actually getting to know them on a deeper level. How do you truly understand a man? Simple conversation. Talk with him, observe his reactions and the things he values, and spend genuine time together without distractions.
In my early dating years, I was always nervous to look directly into a man’s eyes and ask meaningful questions, especially during those important first dates.
I’d just sit there smiling awkwardly. So, I totally get what you might be experiencing right now.
10 Biggest Turn-Offs For Guys
We’re going to explore turn-offs for guys, turn-offs for men, common turn-offs for guys, and the biggest turn-offs for guys. This covers everything from dating to serious relationships.
Let’s look at the biggest turn-offs for men in relationships and dating scenarios.
1. Feeling Insecure
Because of past hurts or previous bad experiences, many people struggle with trust issues in new relationships. Especially when infidelity has been involved, most people find it really hard to move forward. We all have moments where we question our worth and abilities.
A friend once shared with me about dating someone who would call every single hour just to ask, Who’s with you right now?” My friend genuinely tried to make it work, but eventually this behavior destroyed their connection completely.
Trust forms the foundation of any healthy relationship. A confident woman doesn’t waste energy worrying about meaningless things that haven’t even happened yet.
Some women now go through their partner’s phone to check call logs and messages. They even hire people to track their movements. This behavior is absolutely not okay and ranks as one of the biggest turn-offs for guys.
While I understand that insecurity often comes from real pain, I believe partners should lift each other and support one another.
Keep each other’s emotional tanks full. Ladies, when someone gives you genuine compliments, accept them gracefully instead of brushing them off.
Insecurity has ended countless relationships. Not because the couples weren’t meant for each other, but because one person kept feeding negative, untrusting energy into the relationship.
2. Lack Of Personal Care
Ladies, proper grooming matters more than you think. Shower regularly, maintain clean and simple hairstyles, and don’t keep the same style for so long that it becomes unhygienic or your partner starts noticing problems.
Invest in nice sleepwear and undergarments. Get quality deodorants with pleasant fragrances. You don’t need to be completely dressed up when you’re home together, but looking fresh and clean is always attractive.
Change your bedding regularly and keep your living space fresh by opening windows for natural light and air circulation. Take care of basic hygiene in all areas.
Men respond strongly to what they see and never feel excited about coming home to an unclean environment. Wear clean clothes too. They don’t need to be expensive, just whatever fits your budget and looks put together.
There’s real value in taking care of yourself without going overboard. This reminds me of something that happened to a couple I know.
Paul lost his job and had to start driving for Uber to make ends meet. Things eventually improved for him financially, but he noticed his wife had become obsessed with material things. She started spending way too much money and overdressing for simple occasions.
One day, his sister was getting married, and his wife went early to help with preparations. He promised to meet them at the reception later.
When he arrived at the venue, he couldn’t find his wife anywhere. Late, he realized she had been there the entire time, but he didn’t recognize her because she was wearing so much makeup and dressed so dramatically different from her usual style.
My friend was patient with her, and today their marriage is stronger. This might not be your exact situation, but can you relate to any part of this story?
Men appreciate beautiful and well-dressed women, but when it becomes excessive, they start feeling uncomfortable.
Imagine spending three hours on makeup or buying ridiculously expensive accessories just to take endless selfies.
This definitely counts as one of the turn-offs for guys.
3. Lack Of Respect
Respect ranks as one of the most important needs any man has. Want to win a man’s heart? Show him genuine respect. Most men prefer avoiding arguments and drama whenever possible.
Men naturally have pride, and when they encounter someone who constantly argues or creates conflict, problems start brewing immediately. Real respect isn’t just about outward behavior.
Respect means you consider your man’s feelings in everything you do. You hold him in high regard, which is why you don’t raise your voice or speak harshly to him.
When things aren’t going the way you hoped, have an honest conversation and work through the issue together calmly.
4. Always Being In Your Man’s Face
Every man needs personal space sometimes, and invading that space constantly ranks among the biggest turn-offs for men.
You can’t be around your partner every single moment because most men need time to think through situations and process information. They often prefer working through challenges privately first before sharing, because they want to come to you with solutions rather than just problems.
Being deeply in love can feel exciting, but getting too clingy never works out well. Showing a man excessive attention can actually push him away, especially if he hasn’t decided how he feels about the relationship yet. Calling repeatedly or constantly checking up on him sends the wrong message.
Men naturally enjoy pursuing what they want, so let him do that part. Don’t take over his role in the relationship. What men don’t have to work for, they often don’t value as much. They enjoy the chase and will see your constant presence as suffocating, which might make them pull away or avoid you completely.
Some women say they just want to “check on” their man, but they end up following and monitoring his every move instead. This approach is totally wrong. Don’t make a man feel like he’s living in a prison. Let him miss you and want to be around you naturally.
5. Taking But Never Giving
Most women believe men should provide for them (and I agree with that), but when you’re still in the dating phase, one way to get his attention is by showing your independence.
You don’t want to make him feel like you’re only interested in his money. Let him show his generosity naturally, but don’t treat his life like your personal problem-solving service.
On his birthday, you might give him something small, but then expect him to throw you a huge celebration when your turn comes. We all love receiving gifts, but we shouldn’t always focus on what we’re getting. Instead, look for ways to give back to your ma, too.
Money shouldn’t be the main topic of your conversations or arguments all the time.
Always taking from your man without giving anything back is definitely one of the major turn-offs for guys.
6. Nagging
Healthy conversations can happen between any couple, but when nagging becomes the pattern, it gets really frustrating. Sometimes the problem isn’t just what you say, but how you say it.
In my early marriage years, I wanted my husband to succeed quickly, but my approach was completely wrong.
I started comparing him to his coworkers, thinking I was motivating him. It almost felt like I was trying to control his entire life because I felt the need to get involved and “help” with everything.
I would even tell him directly that I was tired of always having to step in and fix his problems because I felt like he wasn’t handling things properly. I complained about small, unimportant issues constantly.
I didn’t realize how harsh my words sounded. I noticed my husband started withdrawing from me and seemed to walk on eggshells around me, afraid of setting me off.
Ladies, let’s learn the skill of constructive communication. Encourage your partner when he needs it, and if something needs correction, don’t make a huge deal about it.
Complaining and nagging tear people down and make them feel like they’re never good enough. Let’s replace those habits with genuine encouragement and motivation instead.
When we need to point out a problem, let’s avoid comparing our men to other people. This behavior is definitely one of the biggest turn-offs for guys.
7. Not Being Organised
Men really appreciate women who stay organized in their personal care, self-development, life goals, and relationship management. Having clear standards and sticking to them is extremely important.
Many people procrastinate and lack motivation. They never follow through on their plans. Sometimes they don’t even make plans, and when they do create goals, they don’t take action.
This makes someone appear disorganized and unreliable. They show up late to events or family gatherings consistently.
Imagine your man coming to visit you and discovering you haven’t showered all day? Your kitchen is full of dirty dishes, and your laundry basket is overflowing with unwashed clothes.
I know everyone has off days, but this shouldn’t be your normal lifestyle.
What about your life goals? Are you just existing instead of actually living with purpose? What drives you? Why do you get up each morning? What are your dreams and long-term plans?
I once overheard a guy on the bus talking about his frustrations with his wife. He kept asking, “What do you actually want to do with your life?” He had opened several businesses for her, but none of them were successful anymore. She was broke and calling him for money again.
I felt sorry for both of them, but I understood his perspective too. He had tried to help her become financially independent by setting up multiple businesses, but none of them lasted.
You don’t have to stay idle. We live in the digital age now, where you can work from home easily. Develop new skills daily through online courses from platforms like Coursera or Udemy. Just get involved in something meaningful.
Lack of organization and direction is definitely one of the turn-offs for guys.
8. Being Proud
Most men really dislike women who act superior and think they’re better than everyone else. They can tell by the way you look at people, what you say about others, and how you treat them.
This sends clear signals to the man in your life. Even in how you talk about family and friends, he can detect your true attitude.
This ranks as one of the biggest turn-offs for husbands and boyfriends.
9. Ingratitude
Some women are never satisfied with anything. No matter what the men in their lives do for them, they act like it’s never enough.
This is definitely one of the things that turns guys off in relationships.
10. Lifestyle And Habits
This category includes various habits that some men can tolerate while others absolutely cannot stand.
For example: excessive makeup, wearing overpowering perfumes, smoking, having too many tattoos, drinking too much alcohol, constantly raising your voice and using inappropriate language, dressing inappropriately for the occasion, or maintaining too many close friendships with other men. The list goes on, but pay attention to your specific man’s reactions.
This is about your particular relationship. What some men will accept, your man might not be comfortable with. If you’re not sure about his preferences and boundaries, have an honest conversation about it.
Figure out what his turn-offs are before you accidentally push him away. Watch his reactions when you’re around other people.
What makes him uncomfortable? What does he seem to encourage and appreciate? When he talks with his friends, he listens to their conversations.
You’ll get valuable clues about turn-offs for guys, biggest turn-offs for guys, and things that turn guys off in relationships.
Final Thoughts
After reading this article, you might feel a little overwhelmed, thinking I’m asking you to completely change who you are. That’s absolutely not what I’m suggesting. As they say, what doesn’t work for one person might be exactly what another person loves.
You can only pretend to be someone else for so long before it becomes exhausting. You have an amazing life ahead of you, so don’t spend it living with regrets about not being authentic.
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