Your partner lives 500 miles away, and you’re lying in bed wondering if this distance thing is actually sustainable. You miss them like crazy, and Face-Timing before bed just isn’t cutting it anymore.
I get it. Long-distance relationships are hard. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or has never actually been in one. Here’s what I’ve learned after counseling hundreds of long-distance couples over the past 20 years:
The ones who make it aren’t just lucky. They’re intentional. They find creative ways to stay connected beyond the occasional “what did you do today?” text. They build shared experiences despite the miles between them.
Distance doesn’t kill relationships. Lack of effort and creativity does.
Today, I’m sharing 20 practical, effective ways to keep your long-distance relationship thriving. These aren’t generic suggestions you’ve heard a million times.
These are strategies I’ve watched successfully keep couples connected when everyone around them predicted failure.
Ready to make distance feel a little less impossible? Let’s go.
20 Things To Do In A Long-Distance Relationship
These activities work whether you’re three hours apart or on different continents. The key is consistency and genuine effort.
1. Schedule Regular Video Calls
Video calls are your lifeline. They’re how you see your partner’s face, read their expressions, and maintain visual intimacy when you can’t be physically together.
But here’s the thing: scheduled calls work better than random ones. When you have a standing date (Tuesday nights at 8, Sunday mornings with coffee, whatever works), both of you prioritize it. You’re not constantly negotiating when to talk or feeling guilty about being too busy.
I worked with a couple where she lived in New York and he lived in London. The time difference was brutal. They scheduled daily 30-minute calls during his lunch break and her morning coffee.
That consistency became the anchor of their relationship. They never missed it unless something truly unavoidable came up.
Make your video calls special. Don’t just stare at screens in silence. Actually engage. Tell stories. Share your day. Laugh together. Make faces. Be present.
And for the love of all things holy, don’t scroll through your phone while on video calls with your partner. That’s basically the long-distance equivalent of ignoring them at dinner. Rude.
2. Send Surprise Care Packages
Nothing says “I’m thinking about you” like a box full of thoughtful goodies showing up at your partner’s door unexpectedly.
Care packages work because they’re tangible proof that you care. In a relationship where you can’t physically touch your partner, having something you can hold that came from them matters more than you’d think.
What should you include? Forget expensive gifts. Focus on personal touches:
- Their favorite snacks they can’t get where they live
- A shirt that smells like you (don’t wash it first)
- Photos of you two
- Handwritten notes
- Small inside jokes in physical form
- Something that reminded you of them
Rebecca sent her boyfriend care packages every few months. She’d include weird stuff like a rock she found on a hike they’d talked about, or a beer from a local brewery, or a keychain from a place they wanted to visit together. The randomness and thoughtfulness made each package exciting.
The anticipation of receiving something in the mail creates excitement. The effort shows you’re thinking about them. Win-win.
3. Watch Movies Or Shows Together Online
Date nights don’t disappear just because you’re apart. They just require a little more creativity.
Platforms like Teleparty (formerly Netflix Party) and Discord make it easy to watch content together in real-time. You can see the same thing simultaneously, react together, and feel like you’re actually sharing the experience.
Pick a show you’re both interested in and make it “your show” that you only watch together. Don’t you dare watch ahead without them. That’s relationship treason.
My partner and I watched an entire series this way when we were temporarily long-distance. We’d make the same snacks, set up our laptops, and have a full date night experience. The shared commentary and reactions made it feel surprisingly intimate.
Pro tip: Pick shows that give you something to discuss. Mystery shows, complex dramas, or comedies you can quote together work great. Avoid anything too emotionally heavy unless you’re both in the mood for it.
4. Play Online Games Together
Gaming together is underrated as a relationship activity, but it’s actually perfect for long-distance couples.
Games give you a shared activity where you’re working together or competing playfully. You’re not just talking at each other. You’re doing something together, which creates natural conversation and connection.
Options include:
- Cooperative games where you work as a team
- Competitive games where you playfully battle each other
- Simple mobile games you can play while video chatting
- MMORPGs, if you’re both into that
Jason and his girlfriend played online chess together nightly. Neither was particularly good at chess, but the competition and trash talk became their thing. The games mattered less than the connection they created.
Find something you both enjoy. Don’t force it if one person hates gaming. But if you’re both even slightly interested, this can become a fun routine that keeps you connected.
5. Write Handwritten Letters And Mail Them
Okay, hear me out. I know we live in the digital age where instant messaging exists. But handwritten letters hit different.
There’s something incredibly intimate about holding paper your partner touched, reading words they physically wrote with their own hand. It feels more real than text on a screen.
I’ve written handwritten letters in every long-distance phase of my relationship. Years later, I still have every single one my partner sent me. You know how many text messages I’ve saved? Zero. Letters have staying power.
Write about your feelings, your day, your dreams, your fears. Write when you’re happy. Write when you’re missing them. Write about random memories that made you laugh. Just write.
The time it takes to write by hand forces you to be more thoughtful about what you say. The delay in receiving it builds anticipation. Opening a letter from someone you love creates a moment of joy that no email can replicate.
6. Plan Surprise Virtual Dates
Routine kills excitement. If every interaction with your partner feels the same, the relationship starts feeling stale, distance or no distance.
Mix things up with surprise virtual dates. Don’t tell them what you’re planning. Just say, “Be online at 7 PM and have dinner ready.” Then surprise them with:
- A virtual museum tour you walk through together
- A coordinated cooking session where you make the same meal
- A murder mystery game you solve together
- A scavenger hunt around their house
- A “concert” where you both listen to the same album and discuss it track by track
The surprise element adds excitement. The planning shows effort. The novelty keeps things fresh.
Maria planned a surprise virtual date where she’d arranged for flowers to be delivered to her boyfriend’s house right before their call. When he opened the door during their video chat and saw them, his reaction made her entire week.
Small surprises create big emotional moments.
7. Create A Shared Playlist Of Favorite Songs
Music connects people in powerful ways. Creating a shared playlist gives you a soundtrack for your relationship.
Add songs that remind you of each other, songs you both love, songs from memories you’ve shared, or songs you want to experience together. Keep adding to it over time so it grows with your relationship.
Then actually listen to it. Put it on during your commute and think about them. Play it while getting ready for your video calls. Let those songs become associated with your love for each other.
IMO, shared playlists work because music evokes emotion and memory. Every time you hear “your songs,” you think of them. That frequent reminder keeps your connection strong even when you can’t talk.
Use Spotify or Apple Music to create collaborative playlists you can both add to and update.
8. Read The Same Book And Discuss It
Shared intellectual experiences deepen emotional bonds. Reading the same book gives you something meaningful to discuss beyond daily logistics.
Pick a book together. Set a reading schedule. Have regular conversations about it. Discuss characters, themes, plot points, and how the book relates to your lives.
This works especially well if you’re in different time zones and can’t talk as frequently. The book gives you something to think about and discuss during your scheduled calls.
David and his girlfriend read relationship books together, which gave them language to discuss their own relationship dynamics. They’d highlight passages and share thoughts. The books became tools for understanding each other better.
Choose books that interest both of you. Don’t make it feel like homework. Make it fun and exploratory.
9. Cook And Eat A Meal Together Over Video Call
Sharing meals is one of humanity’s oldest bonding rituals. You can still do this long-distance with a little coordination.
Pick a recipe, shop for ingredients separately, then cook together over video chat. Walk through each step together. Mess up together. Laugh at culinary disasters together. Then sit down and eat “together” while on camera.
This creates a shared experience beyond just talking. You’re doing something together, which makes the interaction feel less one-dimensional.
Plus, you learn about your partner’s cooking skills (or lack thereof) before you live together. Always useful information 🙂
10. Celebrate Special Occasions Virtually
Missing birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays hurts. It’s one of the hardest parts of long-distance relationships.
You can’t eliminate the distance, but you can make these occasions special anyway. Get creative with virtual celebrations:
- Coordinate surprise deliveries (cake, gifts, flowers) timed to arrive during your video call
- Host a virtual party with both friend groups
- Create a digital photo album or video montage
- Plan an elaborate virtual date night
- Send a meaningful gift with a heartfelt card
The key is making the day feel special and showing your partner they matter to you, despite not being physically present.
When Jake couldn’t be with his girlfriend on her birthday, he arranged for her friends to deliver presents throughout the day, each with a note from him. The final delivery was a video message he’d recorded. She felt loved all day despite him being 2,000 miles away.
Don’t let distance rob you of celebrating your relationship milestones. Find ways to make them special anyway.
11. Keep A Shared Digital Journal Or Scrapbook
Creating a shared space where you both document your relationship builds something lasting you can revisit together.
Use apps like Notion, Google Docs, or Couple to create a digital space where you both contribute. Add:
- Photos from your days
- Thoughts about your relationship
- Memories you don’t want to forget
- Inside jokesPlanss and dreams
- Love notes to each other
This shared journal becomes a living document of your relationship. On hard days, you can read back through it and remember why you’re doing this.
It also gives you both something to contribute to regularly, creating an ongoing connection beyond just conversations.
12. Send Good Morning And Good Night Texts Daily
Consistency matters in long-distance relationships. Starting and ending each day with a message to your partner creates routine and reliability.
These don’t have to be elaborate. “Good morning, thinking about you,” or “Sweet dreams, can’t wait to talk tomorrow” works perfectly fine.
The consistency tells your partner they’re your first thought in the morning and your last thought before sleep. That reassurance matters when you can’t be physically together.
Mix it up occasionally with voice notes, photos, or longer messages. But even on busy days when you can barely talk, these bookend messages maintain your connection.
Elena and her boyfriend were in dramatically different time zones. Her goodnight message was his good morning message. Those crossing messages throughout the day reminded them they were thinking of each other constantly.
13. Take An Online Class Or Workshop Together
Learning something new together creates shared growth and gives you something to bond over beyond your relationship itself.
Find an online class you’re both interested in: cooking, photography, a new language, dancing, art, whatever. Sign up together. Attend sessions together. Practice together. Suck at it together.
The shared learning experience gives you inside jokes, common vocabulary, and a sense of teamwork. Plus, you’re both developing skills that’ll be useful when you’re finally in the same place.
Marcus and his girlfriend took an online salsa dancing class together. They’d practice their moves on video calls, laughing at their terrible form. When they finally reunited, they went salsa dancing for real, and it felt like a culmination of all those practice sessions.
14. Set Future Travel Goals And Plan Visits
Hope matters in long-distance relationships. Having something concrete to look forward to makes the current distance more bearable.
Plan your next visit in detail. When will it happen? Where will you go? What will you do together? Having these plans creates anticipation and gives you both something exciting to count down to.
Also, discuss bigger travel goals. Where do you want to visit together eventually? What’s on your couple’s bucket list? Create a shared Pinterest board or document where you save ideas.
The planning process itself is bonding. You’re building your future together even while apart. That future focus helps you both stay committed during hard moments.
15. Create And Send Voice Notes Instead Of Just Texts
Text messages are convenient, but hearing your partner’s voice adds warmth and personality that text can’t capture.
Voice notes let you share your day, express emotions, and communicate nuance in ways typing can’t. You can hear the excitement in their voice, the tiredness, the happiness, the frustration.
Send voice notes throughout your day when texting would feel too impersonal. Share your thoughts while driving, walking, or just lying in bed thinking about them.
Crystal’s boyfriend would send her voice notes, reading poetry or singing badly. She’d save them and listen when she missed him. His voice made her feel less alone even when he was miles away.
This is especially valuable if you have conflicting schedules and can’t talk live as often as you’d like. Voice notes let you stay connected asynchronously.
16. Have A Virtual Workout Session Together
Staying active together builds healthy habits and gives you quality time. Working out via video call might sound awkward, but it’s actually pretty fun.
Follow the same workout video, go for walks while on the phone, do yoga sessions together, or challenge each other to fitness goals. Track your progress and celebrate milestones together.
This activity works great if you’re both fitness-oriented, but it can also be hilarious if neither of you is particularly athletic. The shared suffering of burpees brings people together in unexpected ways.
Tom and his girlfriend did morning runs together while on FaceTime. They’d chat while running, motivating each other to keep going. The accountability helped them both stay consistent with exercise.
17. Surprise Each Other With Small Gifts Or Food Deliveries
Random surprise deliveries are magical. The unexpected nature makes them more exciting than planned gifts.
Order food delivery to their place when you know they’ve had a rough day. Send flowers for no reason. Mail a book you think they’d enjoy. Arrange for their favorite coffee to be delivered during your morning call.
These gestures don’t have to be expensive. They just need to be thoughtful and unexpected. The surprise element shows you’re thinking about them even when they don’t expect it.
Apps like DoorDash, Uber Eats, and Amazon make surprise deliveries easy regardless of distance.
18. Share Daily Updates And Photos From Your Life
Feeling involved in each other’s daily lives reduces the emotional distance even when the physical distance remains.
Don’t save everything for your scheduled calls. Send photos and updates throughout your day. Show them your lunch, the sunset you saw, the funny thing that happened at work, and your new haircut.
These small shares make your partner feel like part of your life instead of someone you only interact with during designated talk times. They stay current with your world, and you stay current with theirs.
This also gives you more to discuss during actual conversations because you’re not spending the whole time catching up on basic information.
19. Make A Countdown Until Your Next Visit
Anticipation makes the wait easier. Counting down to something concrete gives you both a finish line to focus on.
Use a countdown app, a physical calendar, or even just your phone’s calculator. Check it together. Update each other on how many days are left. Let the decreasing number excite you.
The countdown serves as a constant reminder that the distance is temporary and there’s a reunion ahead. That tangible timeline helps during moments when the distance feels unbearable.
Amanda and her boyfriend had a shared countdown widget on their phones. Every morning, they’d screenshot the new number and send it to each other with increasingly excited messages. Those countdowns kept their spirits up during long stretches apart.
20. Write Love Letters And Read Them Over The Phone
Combining the intimacy of handwritten letters with the connection of hearing each other’s voices creates a powerful emotional experience.
Write love letters to each other expressing your deepest feelings. Be vulnerable. Be specific. Tell them exactly what you love about them and why this relationship matters to you.
Then read these letters to each other over the phone or during video calls. Hearing your partner’s voice, reading words they wrote specifically for youu is incredibly moving.
This activity works especially well for major occasions like anniversaries or just when you’re feeling particularly emotional about the distance. It’s a chance to express things you might struggle to say in regular conversation.
Find inspiration with romantic love letters that express deep emotion.
Final Thoughts
Long-distance relationships aren’t easy they take effort, creativity, and commitment from both partners.
But the couples who make it don’t just survive the distance they use it to grow stronger. Distance teaches better communication, deeper appreciation, and more intentional connection.
The key is refusing to let miles create emotional space. You may not share a bed, but you can share moments, experiences, and love in new ways.
Don’t wait for the distance to end build your relationship now. The couples who do this come out stronger, more connected, and more resilient. Try these activities, stay consistent, and keep choosing each other. The distance is temporary the foundation you’re building is not.
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