Can we be real for a second? Your husband probably won’t tell you this, but he needs to feel appreciated just as much as you do. Maybe even more.
I’ve sat across from countless men in therapy sessions who struggle to articulate this need because they’ve been taught that wanting appreciation makes them seem needy or weak. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
After years of working with couples, I’ve noticed a pattern. Women often complain that their husbands don’t do enough thoughtful things. But when I ask these same women what they’ve done lately to make their husbands feel special, the room gets quiet.
Marriage is a two-way street, and your husband deserves to feel chosen, valued, and celebrated, not just on his birthday or your anniversary, but consistently throughout your life together.
So I’ve put together this list of yearly traditions that can transform your marriage. These aren’t chores or obligations, they’re opportunities to show the man you chose that you’d choose him again, every single time. Let’s get into it.
13 Things To Do For Your Husband Every Year
Look, I’m not about to give you some impossible list that requires a trust fund and unlimited free time. These are practical, doable actions that pack a serious emotional punch. Some will take planning, others just intention. All of them matter.
1. Plan A Surprise Date
When’s the last time you surprised your husband with a date he didn’t have to plan? If you’re drawing a blank, you’re not alone. Most wives tell me their husbands handle the date planning, and honestly, that gets exhausting for him.
Flip the script once a year. Take charge completely. Plan something he’d never expect, something that shows you actually pay attention to who he is and what he enjoys.
Is he into craft beer? Find a brewery tour. Does he love history? Book tickets to that museum exhibit he mentioned three months ago that you barely remember but he definitely does.
One of my clients planned a surprise day that started with breakfast at his favorite diner, followed by go-kart racing (something they hadn’t done since dating), and ended with a sports game she bought tickets to months in advance. She told me she’d never seen him smile that wide. The whole thing cost maybe $200, but the emotional payoff? Priceless.
The surprise element matters because it shows effort and forethought. You can’t surprise someone last-minute, it requires planning, which demonstrates that he’s been on your mind. That feeling of being prioritized? That’s what keeps marriages alive.
Check out sites like Eventbrite or Groupon for unique date ideas in your area. Trust me, the effort will pay off in ways that go way beyond one good day.
2. Write Him A Heartfelt Letter
I know, I know, this sounds cheesy. But stick with me here. When was the last time your husband received something handwritten from you that wasn’t a grocery list or a note about paying bills?
Once a year, sit down without your phone nearby and write him a real letter. Not a text. Not an email. An actual letter he can hold in his hands. Tell him specific things you appreciate about him.
Remind him of moments when he made you proud or made you laugh until you cried. Acknowledge the hard things he’s been carrying that maybe he doesn’t talk about.
I had a client whose husband kept her annual letters in his desk drawer at work. She only found out about this after 15 years when he mentioned reading them on particularly rough days.
She had no idea those letters meant that much to him, but of course they did. Words of affirmation aren’t just a love language category; they’re oxygen for some people.
Men aren’t always great at asking for reassurance, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need it. Your letter gives him something tangible to hold onto when he’s doubting himself or feeling underappreciated.
It’s proof that someone sees him, really sees him, and thinks he’s doing a good job. Keep it somewhere safe, or better yet, give it to him in a meaningful moment, anniversary dinner, end of a tough week, whatever feels right. Just write it.
3. Organize A Weekend Getaway
Real talk: your husband is tired. Between work stress, family obligations, house maintenance, and everything else life throws at you both, he’s running on fumes. A weekend getaway isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity for relationship survival.
Once a year, plan a trip where the only agenda is being together. No family visits (I love your mom, but not this weekend). No packed itineraries that require vacation from your vacation. Just the two of you, somewhere that allows you both to exhale.
It doesn’t have to be fancy. I’ve seen couples transform their marriages with a weekend at a cabin two hours away. The location matters way less than the intentionality.
Leave work emails behind. Put your phones on do- not-disturb except for emergencies. Sleep in. Have slow morning coffee conversations that meander wherever they want to go.
One couple I worked with started doing annual camping trips, just them, a tent, and nature. No Wi-Fi, no distractions. They told me those weekends became sacred, the time when they remembered who they were before kids, careers, and all the life stuff that accumulates.
Use Airbnb for unique stays or Booking.com for hotel deals. Even Hipcamp if you’re into the outdoors. The investment in your marriage is worth way more than the cost.
4. Celebrate His Wins, Big Or Small
Here’s something I see all the time in therapy: wives who celebrate their own achievements but barely acknowledge their husband’s.
Or worse, they acknowledge them in that quick, distracted way that feels like checking a box. “Oh, that’s great, honey” while scrolling Instagram doesn’t count. :/
Your husband needs to know you’re proud of him. Not just for the massive promotions or huge life milestones, but for the small stuff too. Did he stick with his workout routine for three months? Celebrate that.
Did he handle a difficult situation at work with integrity? Recognize it. Did he finally fix that thing in the garage he’s been putting off? Make a big deal about it.
I had a client whose wife started doing this, and he told me it completely shifted how he saw himself. He said he’d been feeling invisible, like all his efforts went unnoticed. When she started actively celebrating him, he felt energized to keep growing and trying.
Make it an annual tradition to host a small “celebration dinner” for something he’s accomplished that year. Cook his favorite meal, raise a glass, and tell him specifically why you’re proud. The specificity matters, generic praise bounces off, but detailed acknowledgment lands.
5. Cook His Favorite Meal
I can already hear some of you: “But I cook for him all the time!” Sure, you might cook regularly. But when’s the last time you made his absolute favorite meal, the one he’d choose if he could have anything, with the full experience? Candles, nice dishes, his preferred drink, the whole setup?
Once a year, go all out. Maybe it’s his mom’s recipe that you’ve been meaning to master. Maybe it’s that restaurant dish he always orders that you can recreate at home. Maybe it’s something simple like the perfect steak and potatoes, but you make it special with presentation and ambiance.
The meal itself is only part of it. What you’re really serving is attention, care, and the message that his preferences matter to you. You’re not just feeding him, you’re loving him in a language that feels tangible.
One of my favorite couples does this on a random weeknight in March, no special occasion. She plans the meal, sets the table beautifully, and bans all talk of logistics or problems for that dinner.
They said it’s become the evening they both look forward to most each year because it’s so intentionally focused on enjoyment and connection.
If you need recipes, AllRecipes or Tasty are great starting points. Or ask his mom for that recipe, trust me, she’ll be thrilled you asked.
6. Give Him A Thoughtful Gift
Quick question: do you put more thought into gifts for your friends than for your husband? Be honest.
I’ve worked with so many women who overthink presents for everyone else but grab something generic for their spouse because “he’s hard to buy for” or “he doesn’t care about gifts.”
Here’s the truth: he might not care about gifts in general, but he absolutely cares about being known.
And a thoughtful gift proves you know him. It says you pay attention to what lights him up, what he mentions in passing, what he’d love but would never buy for himself.
This isn’t about expensive. This is about specific. If he’s been talking about wanting to learn guitar, get him beginner lessons. If he loves a particular whiskey, find a rare bottle. If he’s mentioned wanting a comfortable reading chair for years, make it happen.
The gift should make him think “She really gets me.”
I had a client whose husband casually mentioned loving old maps. Six months later, she gave him a framed vintage map of his hometown from the year he was born.
He cried. He never cries. But that gift told him she’d been listening all along, that his random interests mattered to her.
Once a year, give him something that proves you see him. Not the role he plays, but the actual person he is.
7. Pray Or Meditate For/With Him
Whether you’re religious or spiritual or neither, there’s something powerful about holding space for your husband’s wellbeing beyond the physical.
Taking time once a year to specifically pray or meditate for him, or better yet, with him, creates a level of intimacy that’s hard to replicate any other way.
This might look different for everyone. Maybe you pray together over his goals for the coming year. Maybe you do a guided meditation focused on gratitude for your partnership. Maybe you light a candle and sit in silence, holding intentions for his peace and happiness.
For couples who share faith, praying together can be incredibly bonding. I’ve worked with religious couples who told me this practice transformed their marriage because it required vulnerability and created spiritual alignment.
But even for non-religious couples, setting aside time to focus positive energy on your partner’s wellbeing matters.
One couple I know does an annual “blessing ceremony” where they each speak words of hope and encouragement over the other for the year ahead. It’s not religious, just intentional. They said those moments feel sacred in a way that’s hard to describe but impossible to skip.
Apps like Headspace or Insight Timer offer couples meditation options if you want structure.
8. Refresh His Wardrobe
Let me tell you something I’ve learned from years of counseling: most men wear the same clothes until they literally fall apart, and they genuinely don’t know those clothes look terrible. Your husband is probably walking around in shirts from 2008 with stretched-out collars, and he has no idea it’s a problem.
Once a year, help him refresh his wardrobe. Not a complete overhaul (that’s overwhelming), just intentional updates.
Replace the ratty t-shirts. Get him jeans that actually fit. Find a nice jacket that makes him feel confident. Maybe throw in shoes that aren’t held together with hope and memories.
Make it fun, go shopping together, or if he hates shopping, order options online and do a little fashion show at home. Tell him what looks good on him.
Many men have no idea what fits well or what colors work for them, and they’re not confident enough to figure it out alone.
The confidence boost from looking good is real. I’ve had husbands tell me that their wife’s attention to their appearance made them feel desired and cared for in a way they hadn’t felt in years. It’s not shallow, it’s another form of love.
Sites like Stitch Fix Men can help if he’s really resistant to shopping, or check out Bonobos for quality basics.
9. Encourage His Goals And Dreams
Here’s something that breaks my heart regularly in therapy: men who’ve completely given up on personal dreams because they don’t think anyone cares.
They’ve become so focused on being the provider, the stable one, the responsible parent that they’ve buried their own aspirations. Your husband might not even remember what he wanted before life got complicated.
Once a year, have a real conversation about his goals and dreams. Not just professional stuff, personal growth, hobbies, creative pursuits, bucket list items.
What does he want to learn? What experience does he wish he’d had? What version of himself does he want to become?
Then here’s the crucial part: actively support those dreams. Help him carve out time for that hobby.
Research resources for that skill he wants to develop. Budget for that experience he’s been mentioning. Be the person who believes in him even when he’s not sure he believes in himself.
I worked with a man who casually mentioned wanting to write a book. His wife took it seriously when no one else did. She cleared out a corner of their spare room, set up a writing space, and gave him two hours every Saturday morning, protected, non-negotiable time.
Two years later, he finished that book. But more importantly, he told me he’d never felt more supported in his life.
Your encouragement might be the difference between him pursuing something meaningful or just surviving another year. Don’t underestimate that power.
10. Plan A No-Device Day Together
Let’s address the elephant in the room: your phones are killing your intimacy. IMO, we’ve all become so attached to our devices that we’re forgetting how to be fully present with each other. Once a year, commit to a full day with zero screens.
No phones. No tablets. No TV. No smartwatch notifications. Nothing. Just the two of you, actually interacting like humans did for thousands of years before technology made us all partial zombies.
I get it, this sounds extreme. It might even feel uncomfortable at first because we’ve forgotten how to just be with someone without digital distraction. But that discomfort is exactly why you need to do this.
If you can’t spend one day a year fully present with your spouse, what does that say about your relationship?
Spend the day doing things that require attention: cook together, take a long walk, play board games, have extended conversations, work on a project together. The first few hours might feel weird, but then something shifts.
You start noticing each other again. You start having the kind of meandering conversations that build intimacy.
One couple told me their annual no-device day became so valuable that they extended it to a full weekend. They said they learned more about each other during those unplugged times than they had in months of regular life.
Make this an annual tradition. Your marriage will thank you.
11. Renew Your Vows (Formally Or Informally)
Marriage gets hard. Life throws curveballs. Some years test you in ways you never imagined. Renewing your vows, whether in a formal ceremony or just between the two of you, is a way of saying “I’m still choosing you” after you’ve seen both the best and worst of each other.
This doesn’t have to be elaborate. It could be a simple moment on your anniversary where you look at each other and recommit. It could be writing new vows that reflect who you’ve become. It could be a full renewal ceremony with friends and family if that feels meaningful.
The power is in the intentionality. You’re not just staying married out of obligation or inertia, you’re actively choosing this person again. That’s profound, especially after you’ve weathered storms together.
I had clients who renewed their vows every five years, and each ceremony reflected their growth. The first renewal was traditional. The second included their kids. The third, after surviving a near-divorce, was just them on a beach, rewriting vows through tears. Each time meant something different, but each time mattered.
Whether you do this annually or every few years, make space for recommitment. Check out The Knot for vow renewal ideas and inspiration.
12. Compliment Him Genuinely
Real question: when was the last time you gave your husband a genuine, specific compliment that wasn’t about something he did for you? Most men are starving for affirmation, but they’ll never admit it.
Once a year, honestly, more often, make a point of offering heartfelt compliments that go beyond the surface. Yes, tell him he looks handsome. But also tell him you admire his integrity.
Acknowledge his patience with the kids. Recognize his work ethic. Praise his sense of humor. Notice his growth.
Men hear a lot about what they’re not doing enough of. They rarely hear what they’re doing well. Your voice, your opinion, matters more to him than anyone else’s.
When you tell him you see his efforts and you’re proud of him, it fills a need he probably doesn’t even realize he has.
I had a client who started keeping a “compliment journal” where she wrote down one thing she appreciated about her husband daily. At the end of each year, she’d read them all to him.
He said it became the thing he looked forward to most, this tangible evidence that she saw him and valued him.
Make your compliments specific. “You’re a good husband” is nice but vague. “The way you handled that situation with your brother showed so much maturity and compassion. I’m really proud of you” hits differently. Specificity makes it real.
13. Revisit A Special Memory Together
Nostalgia is a powerful relationship tool. When you intentionally revisit special memories, you’re reminding yourselves why you fell in love in the first place. Life gets busy, problems accumulate, and sometimes you need to look back to remember the foundation you built.
Once a year, do something that takes you back to a meaningful moment. Return to where you had your first date. Watch the movie you saw on your first anniversary. Cook the meal you had on your first night in your house.
Visit the spot where he proposed. The specific memory matters less than the act of honoring your history.
This isn’t about living in the past, it’s about acknowledging the journey. You’re not the same people you were when you started, and that’s beautiful.
But taking time to remember where you began helps you appreciate how far you’ve come together.
One couple I worked with revisits their wedding venue every year on their anniversary. They walk around, reminisce, and talk about how their marriage has evolved.
They said it’s become this grounding ritual that reminds them their relationship has roots, has history, has survived.
Your shared memories are treasures. Don’t let them collect dust. Pull them out, examine them, celebrate them. They’re proof that your love story is real and ongoing.
Final Thoughts
Look, marriage isn’t going to thrive on autopilot. You can’t just assume your husband knows you love him, you have to show him, consistently, in ways that land for him. These yearly traditions aren’t just nice gestures. They’re investments in the person you chose to build a life with.
Every single one of these actions sends the same message: “You matter. You’re seen. You’re valued. I’m still choosing you.” And honestly? In a world that constantly demands everything from both of you, having someone in your corner who actively chooses you every year, that’s everything.
Start with one or two from this list. See what happens. I’m willing to bet you’ll see a shift, in his appreciation, in your connection, in the overall quality of your marriage.
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