Let’s be honest, your marriage probably isn’t getting the attention it deserves.
Between work, kids, chores, and trying to remember if you paid the bills, your relationship may have slipped down the list.
Sound familiar? Marriages don’t fall apart from one big problem. They fade from many small moments of neglect.
The good news is that small actions can bring them back to life.
You don’t need fancy date nights or expensive trips. What matters are the simple, consistent gestures that say, “you matter to me.”
Think of your marriage like a plant. One big splash of water won’t keep it alive.
It’s the small, steady drops that make it grow.
What Does It Mean to Prioritize Your Marriage?
Prioritizing your marriage means making daily choices that protect and strengthen your bond, even when life feels busy.
It’s choosing your partner over your phone, choosing real conversation over another episode, and choosing to show love instead of assuming it will last on its own.
Just like your health, your marriage needs consistent care. You can’t eat one healthy meal and expect lasting results.
Small, steady actions every day are what keep love strong.
Why Prioritize Your Marriage?
I know life gets hectic, and adding one more thing to your list might feel tiring. But this one is worth it.
Builds a Stronger Connection
When you put your marriage first, you keep the emotional bond alive.
You stop feeling like roommates and start feeling like a team again.
Simple effort can bring back that closeness and joy you once shared.
Improves Communication
Healthy communication takes time and intention. Setting aside even a few minutes each day to talk and really listen can make a big difference.
It helps small issues stay small and brings more peace into your home.
Boosts Happiness
A strong, loving marriage makes life brighter. Studies show happy couples tend to be healthier, live longer, and handle stress better.
When things feel right at home, everything else becomes easier.
Builds Strength in Hard Times
Life isn’t always smooth, but couples who nurture their marriage before challenges come are better prepared to face them.
A strong relationship gives you a solid foundation when life shakes things up.
Creates a Supportive Space
When both partners feel valued, love grows. You celebrate each other’s wins.
Stand by each other in hard times and work together instead of keeping score.
That kind of partnership feels safe, warm, and fulfilling.
12 Small Ways To Prioritize Your Marriage
Alright, enough theory. Let’s get practical.
These 12 strategies are small enough to implement starting today, but powerful enough to transform your marriage over time.
1. Schedule Regular Date Nights
I know, I know, you’ve heard this one before. But, most couples who struggle with connection have stopped dating each other.
They got married and thought “great, we’re done courting now!”
Wrong. Marriage means you get to date the same person forever, not that dating is over. Date night doesn’t have to be fancy:
- Weekly dinner out (or takeout at home after kids are asleep)
- Movie night with no interruptions
- Walk around the neighborhood holding hands
- Cooking together while actually talking
- Game night where you compete and laugh
The key is consistency and intentionality. Put it on the calendar like any other important appointment. Because it is.
I worked with one couple who swore they didn’t have time for dates.
We found 90 minutes on Friday nights after their kids went to bed.
Six months of consistent date nights later, they felt like newlyweds again.
Find creative date ideas on DateBox Club or search local activities on Eventbrite.
2. Send Thoughtful Texts During The Day
This is literally the easiest thing on this list and might have the biggest impact.
A thoughtful text takes 30 seconds but tells your spouse “I’m thinking about you in the middle of my busy day.”
Text ideas:
- “I love you” (simple but powerful)
- “Thank you for…” (specific appreciation)
- “Thinking about you” with a heart emoji
- “Can’t wait to see you tonight”
- A funny meme that relates to your relationship
- “You’re amazing and here’s why…”
I had one client whose marriage was on the rocks. Her husband started sending one sweet text every morning.
Just one text per day shifted the entire dynamic of their relationship.
She stopped feeling neglected and started feeling valued.
3. Share Morning Coffee Together
The morning sets the tone for your entire day. If you start it connected with your spouse, you carry that connection throughout the day.
If you start it rushed and stressed, you carry that too.
Try waking up 15-20 minutes earlier to have coffee together before chaos begins.
Use this time to actually talk, not scroll your phones or watch TV.
Talk about:
- Plans for the day
- Something you’re looking forward to
- How you slept
- Dreams from the night before
- What you’re grateful for
This simple ritual becomes this sacred space where you’re just two people who love each other.
Before you become Mom/Dad, Employee, Chef, Chauffeur, and everything else.
Make mornings special with quality coffee from Trade Coffee or try new beans from Atlas Coffee Club.
4. Set Aside Time To Talk Daily
You need dedicated talking time that’s not about logistics.
Not “who’s picking up the kids” or “did you pay the mortgage,” actual connection conversations.
Aim for at least 15-30 minutes of phone-free conversation daily.
This is when you discuss feelings, dreams, fears, and everything that makes you human beings instead of just co-managers of a household.
Questions to ask:
- “How are you really doing?”
- “What’s on your mind lately?”
- “What made you happy today?”
- “What’s stressing you out?”
- “What do you need from me right now?”
I recommend doing this before bed. Turn off the TV, put away phones, and just talk.
You’ll sleep better too, knowing you’re connected.
5. Show Physical Affection Often
Touch is how humans’ bond. When physical affection stops in a marriage, emotional distance isn’t far behind.
I’m not just talking about s#x (though that’s important too).
If you’re looking for simple ways to show more physical affection, here are a few sweet ideas to try:
- Hold hands while walking or sitting together.
- Give a warm hug that lasts a little longer than usual.
- Kiss them unexpectedly on the cheek, lips, or forehead.
- Sit close and cuddle while watching a movie or relaxing.
- Wrap your arms around them from behind while they’re busy.
- Rest your head on their shoulder when sitting side by side.
- Playfully touch their arm or hand during a conversation.
- Run your fingers through their hair as you talk.
- Snuggle up together in bed or on the couch.
- Share a long, loving embrace before you part for the day.
- Gently squeeze their shoulders when they’re feeling tense.
- Brush your hand against theirs as you walk together.
- Give them a surprise back rub or massage.
- Hold them close while slow dancing in the living room.
- Lightly rest your hand on their waist when standing near them.
- Give a playful tickle or nudge to make them laugh.
Physical touch releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone.
It literally makes you feel closer to your partner. Couples who touch regularly report higher satisfaction levels.
I worked with one couple who hadn’t touched in months except for obligatory goodbye kisses.
We implemented a 10-second hug every morning and evening. Within weeks, their entire relationship shifted.
6. Express Gratitude Regularly
When’s the last time you thanked your spouse for something they do regularly?
Taking out the trash, making dinner, going to work, managing finances, these things deserve acknowledgment.
We get so focused on what our partners aren’t doing that we completely forget to appreciate what they are doing.
This creates a negativity spiral where nobody feels valued.
Ways to express gratitude:
- “Thank you for…” (be specific)
- “I appreciate how you…”
- “I noticed you did X and it meant a lot”
- Write thank you notes and leave them around
- Tell others about what your spouse does (bonus points if they overhear)
Make this a daily habit. Every single day, find one thing to genuinely thank your spouse for.
Watch how quickly this transforms your perspective and your relationship.
Build gratitude habits with Gratitude or Presently for daily tracking.
7. Surprise Each Other With Small Gestures
Romance doesn’t die, it’s murdered by routine and taking each other for granted.
Small surprises keep the spark alive and show your spouse “I was thinking of you.”
Surprise ideas:
- Their favorite snack brought home randomly
- Flowers for no reason (yes, men like flowers too!)
- Love notes hidden in unexpected places
- Taking over their chore without being asked
- Planning a surprise date
- Making their favorite meal
- Bringing them coffee in the morning
These don’t have to be expensive or elaborate.
The thoughtfulness behind the gesture matters more than the gesture itself.
It shows you’re paying attention and actively choosing to make them happy.
8. Limit Screen Time When Together
Here’s an uncomfortable truth: your phone is probably a bigger threat to your marriage than you realize.
Because screens are the silent killer of modern relationships, to me and who ever know about things related to relationship red flags.
When you’re together, be together. Not physically present while mentally scrolling through someone else’s vacation photos or arguing with strangers on social media.
Set boundaries:
- No phones during meals (this is non-negotiable)
- Phone-free time after work before dinner
- No screens in bed for at least 30 minutes before sleep
- One phone-free evening per week
- Create a charging station outside the bedroom
I had one couple who were basically living separate lives while sitting on the same couch.
We implemented phone-free evenings twice a week. Within a month, they felt more connected than they had in years.
9. Support Each Other’s Goals
Your partner’s dreams and goals should matter to you as much as your own.
When you support each other’s growth, you both thrive and your marriage becomes stronger.
Ways to show support:
- Listen without immediately pointing out obstacles
- Encourage when things get tough
- Celebrate wins like they’re your own
- Help practically when you can
- Make sacrifices to enable their success
- Believe in them when they doubt themselves
I’ve seen marriages where one person’s dream was dismissed, and the resentment that builds from that never fully goes away.
Don’t be the person who kills your spouse’s dreams.
10. Make Time For Shared Hobbies
Couples who play together stay together. Shared activities create bonding, fun, and positive memories that strengthen your relationship.
Hobby ideas:
- Cooking new recipes together
- Hiking or walking trails
- Playing board games or video games
- Gardening together
- Taking dance classes
- Learning a new skill side by side
- Working out together
- DIY projects for your home
The activity matters less than doing it together consistently.
Shared experiences create shared memories, which create deeper bonds.
Find classes together on ClassPass or explore hobbies through MasterClass.
11. Pray Or Meditate Together
Spiritual connection can deepen emotional and relational connection.
Whether you’re religious, spiritual, or just want mindfulness practice, doing it together adds another layer to your bond.
Options you can use:
- Morning prayer before starting the day
- Evening meditation before bed
- Gratitude practice together
- Reading devotionals and discussing
- Attending services together
- Mindfulness exercises as a couple
This creates shared values, purpose, and a sense of something bigger than just the two of you. It’s a powerful way to stay aligned and connected.
Try guided meditations on Headspace or Calm together.
12. Celebrate Small Wins As A Couple
Don’t wait for huge milestones to celebrate. Acknowledge and celebrate small victories, both individual and shared, regularly.
Things to celebrate:
- Paying off a credit card
- Getting through a tough week
- One of you reaching a work goal
- Successfully handling a conflict
- Making it through a hard season
- Small improvements you’ve both worked on
Celebration doesn’t have to be elaborate. It can be as simple as a special dinner, a high-five, or just taking a moment to acknowledge “we did it!”
When you celebrate together, you create positive associations with teamwork and partnership.
You start seeing yourselves as a team that wins together instead of opponents competing against each other.
The Reality of Prioritizing Marriage
Let me be real with you for a second. Implementing all 12 of these strategies at once will be overwhelming and unsustainable. Don’t do that to yourself.
Start with one or two that resonate most with you. Master those, make them habits, then add another.
Small, consistent changes create lasting transformation. Overwhelming yourself creates burnout and giving up.
Also, understand that some days you’ll fail. You’ll skip date night because life explodes, be on your phone when you said you wouldn’t.
You’ll forget to send that sweet text. That’s called being human.
The goal isn’t perfection, the goal is consistent effort over time. Progress, not perfection.
Final Thoughts
Marriage needs care, just like anything you want to keep strong. Your car needs oil, your home needs repairs, and your relationship needs attention and love.
These small ways to prioritize your marriage may seem simple, but they matter deeply.
The happiest couples aren’t perfect they just keep showing up for each other, even when life gets busy.
Your marriage is worth the effort. So is your partner. And so are you.
Start today. Send a kind message, plan a date, or give an extra hug. Love lasts when we choose to nurture it every day.
Now stop reading and go connect with your spouse. They’re waiting 🙂
