How to Treat Your Husband Like a King

Okay, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. The phrase “treat your husband like a king” makes some women roll their eyes so hard they practically fall out of their heads. I get it, it sounds outdated, maybe even a little submissive. But hear me out before you click away!

As a relationship therapist who’s spent over a decade helping couples rebuild their marriages, I’ve learned something fascinating: how to treat your husband like a king isn’t about becoming his servant or losing your identity. It’s about creating a dynamic where both partners feel valued, respected, and cherished. When you treat him like royalty, guess what happens? He starts treating you like the queen you are.

This isn’t some 1950s housewife fantasy, it’s about understanding what makes your partner feel loved and appreciated, then delivering it in ways that feel authentic to you. Ready to transform your marriage from ordinary to extraordinary? Let’s make some magic happen.

Understanding What It Really Means to Treat Your Husband Like a King

Before we get into the practical stuff, let’s clear up what treating your husband like a king actually means in modern marriage. It’s not about worship, subservience, or losing yourself in the process. Think of it more like being the CEO of making your partner feel valued.

Every successful relationship I’ve worked with has this secret ingredient: both partners actively work to make the other feel special. When you treat your husband like a king, you’re not diminishing yourself, you’re elevating your entire relationship.

Here’s what I’ve observed in my practice: marriages thrive when both people feel appreciated for who they are and what they bring to the table. Men, just like women, have specific emotional needs. When these needs get met consistently, they naturally respond by wanting to meet their partner’s needs too.

The psychology behind this is pretty simple. When someone feels valued and respected, they’re more likely to be generous, affectionate, and emotionally available. It’s like a positive feedback loop that keeps getting stronger over time.

But here’s the catch, every man is different. What makes one guy feel like a king might completely miss the mark with another. That’s why understanding your specific husband’s needs is crucial to making this work.

Show Your Husband Deep Respect (It’s Not What You Think)

Let’s start with the big one: showing your husband deep respect. Now, before you start thinking I’m asking you to bow and curtsy, let me explain what respect actually looks like in a healthy marriage.

Respect isn’t about agreeing with everything he says or never having your own opinions. It’s about treating his thoughts, feelings, and contributions as valuable, even when you disagree with them.

I worked with a couple where Sarah constantly corrected Mike in front of others, finished his sentences, and made jokes about his “silly” hobbies. She thought she was being playful, but Mike felt completely dismissed. When we worked on changing these patterns, their entire relationship dynamic shifted.

Real respect in marriage looks like:

Listening without interrupting when he’s sharing something important to him
Asking for his input on decisions, even if you’re perfectly capable of making them alone
Supporting his interests even if you don’t personally understand the appeal
Speaking positively about him to others, especially in front of friends and family
Trusting his judgment and not micromanaging his approaches to problems

Here’s what respect doesn’t mean: losing your voice, opinions, or independence. You can absolutely disagree with your husband while still showing respect. The difference is in how you handle those disagreements.

Instead of “That’s the stupidest idea ever,” try “I see it differently. Can we talk through both perspectives?” See the difference? You’re honoring his right to have opinions while still maintaining your own.

Compliment Him (Yes, Men Need This Too!)

Here’s something that might surprise you: men crave compliments just as much as women do, but they rarely get them. When’s the last time you told your husband something specific you appreciate about him?

I see this pattern constantly in my office. Women will list all the ways their husbands fail to appreciate them, then admit they can’t remember the last time they complimented their partner. We’ve somehow created this myth that men don’t need verbal affirmation, but trust me, they absolutely do.

Effective compliments for men focus on:

His character and values: “I love how patient you are with your mom, even when she’s being difficult”
His efforts and contributions: “Thank you for working so hard to provide for our family”
His physical appearance: Yes, he wants to know you still find him attractive!
His skills and abilities: “You’re so good at figuring out these technical problems”
His role as a father/partner: “Our kids are so lucky to have you as their dad”

The key is being specific and genuine. “You’re great” feels empty, but “I admire how you handled that difficult situation with your boss, you stayed calm and professional even though you were frustrated” shows you’re really paying attention.

Pro tip: Compliment him in front of others sometimes. Men especially appreciate being honored publicly by their wives. It shows you’re proud to be with him, which feeds directly into that “king” feeling.

Seek His Opinion (Even When You Don’t Need To)

This one trips up a lot of independent women, and I totally understand why. Seeking your husband’s opinion can feel like you’re pretending to be helpless when you’re perfectly capable of making decisions alone.

But here’s the thing, it’s not about pretending you can’t handle things. It’s about including him in your thought process and showing that his perspective matters to you.

I have a client named Jessica who’s a successful lawyer. She was frustrated that her husband seemed disengaged from their family decisions. When we explored this, she realized she had gotten into the habit of making most choices without consulting him because she could “handle it faster alone.”

Once she started asking for his input, even on things she could easily decide herself, he became much more engaged in their family life. She wasn’t giving up her independence; she was creating partnership.

Ways to seek his opinion effectively:

Ask about decisions that affect both of you: “What do you think about refinancing the house?”
Get his perspective on your challenges: “I’m dealing with this situation at work. What’s your take on it?”
Include him in planning: “Where should we go for our anniversary? I’d love your ideas.”
Value his expertise: If he’s good with finances, cars, or technology, lean into that knowledge
Ask for advice on relationships: “Your sister seemed upset at dinner. Did I miss something?”

The magic happens when you actually listen to his input and factor it into your decisions. Even if you ultimately choose differently, acknowledging his perspective shows respect for his thoughts and experiences.

Initiate Lovemaking (Break Those Outdated Rules)

Let’s talk about initiating lovemaking, and yes, I’m going there! One of the fastest ways to make your husband feel desired and valued is to be the one who starts things sometimes.

Too many marriages fall into the pattern where one person (usually the man) does all the initiating. This creates an imbalance that can make the initiator feel unwanted and the other partner feel pressured.

When you take the lead sometimes, you’re sending a powerful message: “I want you. I desire you. I’m choosing you actively, not just responding to your advances.”

Why this makes him feel like a king:

It shows active desire, not just passive acceptance
It takes pressure off him to always be the pursuer
It communicates that you find him irresistible
It creates variety and excitement in your intimate life
It shows confidence and ownership of your sexuality

How to initiate in ways that feel natural to you:

Start with non-sexual touch throughout the day, hand-holding, back rubs, lingering hugs
Use verbal cues: “I’ve been thinking about you all day” or “I can’t wait to be alone with you tonight”
Create the atmosphere with candles, music, or his favorite meal
Be direct when you’re comfortable: Sometimes a simple “I want you” is incredibly powerful
Plan special occasions where intimacy is clearly on the agenda

Remember, intimacy isn’t just about sex. Emotional and physical closeness throughout the day builds the foundation for passionate connections at night.

Be the Queen (Because Kings Need Queens)

Here’s where we get to the fun part: being the queen while treating him like a king. This isn’t about changing who you are, it’s about bringing your best self to your marriage.

I tell my clients that treating your husband like a king while you act like a peasant doesn’t work. You need to match his royal energy with your own queenly presence. This creates the kind of dynamic where both partners feel valued and special.

What being a queen in your marriage looks like:

Taking Care of Yourself
Prioritize your appearance not because you have to, but because you want to feel confident
Maintain your health and energy through exercise, good food, and adequate rest
Dress in ways that make you feel attractive and put-together
Keep up with personal hygiene and grooming that makes you feel good
Invest in yourself through learning, hobbies, and personal growth

Maintaining Your Standards

Don’t lose yourself in the process of caring for others
Keep your own interests and friendships alive and thriving
Set boundaries about what you will and won’t accept in your relationship
Communicate your needs clearly and expect them to be met
Maintain your financial independence and career goals

Creating a Beautiful Environment

Make your home a place both of you love to return to
Plan special dates and experiences that you both enjoy
Create traditions and rituals that strengthen your bond
Be intentional about romance and maintaining the spark

The goal is creating a relationship where you both feel like you’re living your best life together. When you show up as your best self, it inspires him to do the same.

Be Supportive (Your Secret Superpower)

Being supportive might be the most powerful tool in your queen toolkit. But support doesn’t mean blind agreement or sacrificing your own dreams for his. Smart support means being his biggest cheerleader while maintaining your own life and goals.

I’ve seen marriages transform when wives learn how to support their husbands effectively. Men often carry a lot of pressure to provide, succeed, and lead, but they rarely get the emotional support they need to handle that pressure well.

How to be supportive like a queen:

Emotional Support
Listen without trying to fix when he’s stressed or frustrated
Believe in his abilities even when he’s doubting himself
Encourage him through failures and celebrate his wins enthusiastically
Be his safe space where he can be vulnerable without judgment
Help him process difficult emotions without taking them personally

Practical Support

Make his life easier where you can without sacrificing your own well-being
Support his career goals by understanding the demands and pressures he faces
Be flexible when his schedule gets crazy but communicate your needs too
Help create systems that make your household run smoothly for both of you
Share the mental load of managing family life and responsibilities

Goal Support

Get excited about his dreams and help him think through how to achieve them
Make sacrifices when necessary but ensure they’re mutual and temporary
Brainstorm solutions when he faces obstacles or setbacks
Hold him accountable to his goals in loving, non-nagging ways
Celebrate progress along the way, not just final achievements

The key is supporting him in ways that also honor your own needs and goals. You’re partners, not servant and master.

Practical Ways to Make Him Feel Special Daily

Now let’s get into the day-to-day practical ways to treat your husband like a king. These are small gestures that create big impact over time. Think of them as deposits in your relationship’s emotional bank account.

Morning Rituals That Set the Tone:

Wake up with a positive attitude and greet him warmly (even if you’re not a morning person!)
Make his favorite coffee or breakfast when you have time
Send encouraging texts throughout the day, especially during stressful periods
Leave little notes in his lunch, briefcase, or somewhere he’ll find them
Give him a genuine compliment before he leaves for work

Evening Connections:

Greet him enthusiastically when he comes home, put down your phone and focus on him for a few minutes
Ask about his day and actually listen to the answer
Create a comfortable environment where he can decompress
Plan his favorite meals occasionally, especially after tough days
Give him some space to unwind before jumping into household discussions

Weekly Gestures:

Plan date nights that cater to his interests sometimes
Give massages or other physical affection without expecting anything in return
Support his hobbies by giving him time and space for them
Surprise him with tickets to games, concerts, or events he’d enjoy
Take care of tasks he usually handles, giving him a break

Special Occasion Magic:

Make birthdays and anniversaries truly special with thoughtful planning
Celebrate his achievements at work or in personal goals
Create traditions that are meaningful to your relationship
Plan surprise getaways or special experiences you can enjoy together
Give gifts that show you really know and understand him

You can use apps like Any.do or Todoist to set reminders for these special gestures, or use Pinterest to collect ideas for dates and surprises.

Understanding Your Specific Husband’s Love Language

Here’s something crucial: every man expresses and receives love differently. What makes one husband feel like a king might completely miss the mark with another. Understanding your specific husband’s love language is essential for making your efforts count.

Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages provide a great framework for this:

Words of Affirmation

If this is his primary love language, he needs verbal appreciation, compliments, and encouragement.

Practical applications:

Daily verbal compliments about his appearance, character, or efforts
Public praise in front of friends and family
Encouraging notes and texts throughout the day
Verbal gratitude for things he does for you and the family
“I love you” said frequently and sincerely

Quality Time

For these husbands, your undivided attention is the ultimate gift. How to deliver:

Put away devices when you’re talking or spending time together
Plan activities you both enjoy and can do together
Create rituals like morning coffee together or evening walks
Take interest in his hobbies and participate when possible
Make eye contact during conversations to show you’re fully present

Physical Touch

These men feel most loved through physical connection. Ways to connect:

Regular hugs, kisses, and casual touches throughout the day
Hold hands while walking or watching TV
Give massages or back rubs without being asked
Sit close together on the couch instead of across the room
Be affectionate even in non-sexual contexts

Acts of Service

If this is his love language, actions speak louder than words. Service ideas:

Handle tasks he usually does, giving him a break
Cook his favorite meals or pack his lunch
Take care of things on his to-do list without being asked
Run errands that make his life easier
Keep the house organized in ways that reduce his stress

Receiving Gifts

For these husbands, thoughtful gifts symbolize love and care. Gift-giving tips:

Remember important dates and celebrate them meaningfully
Give small, thoughtful surprises regularly, not just on special occasions
Pay attention to things he mentions wanting or needing
Create personalized gifts that show you really know him
Present gifts beautifully, the presentation matters as much as the gift itself

You can take the official love languages quiz together at 5lovelanguages.com to better understand each other’s primary languages.

Building Him Up Instead of Tearing Him Down

One of the most powerful ways to treat your husband like a king is to be intentional about building him up rather than tearing him down. This seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how many marriages suffer from chronic criticism and negativity.

I see this pattern constantly in my practice: couples who love each other but have fallen into habits of criticism, sarcasm, and negativity that slowly erode their connection. The antidote is conscious appreciation and encouragement.

Common ways we accidentally tear our husbands down:

Criticizing his methods when the outcome is fine (“Why did you load the dishwasher like that?”)
Comparing him to other men (“Why can’t you be more like Sarah’s husband?”)
Bringing up past mistakes during current disagreements
Using sarcasm or humor that actually hurts rather than helps
Dismissing his feelings or concerns as invalid
Making him the butt of jokes in front of others

How to build him up instead:

Focus on Effort, Not Just Results

Instead of criticizing how he does things, appreciate that he’s doing them at all. “Thank you for doing the dishes” works better than “Next time, could you put the glasses on the top rack?”

Catch Him Doing Things Right

Make a conscious effort to notice and acknowledge the positive things he does daily. “I noticed you’ve been really patient with the kids lately. They’re lucky to have such a caring dad.”

Speak Positively About Him to Others

How you talk about your husband to your friends, family, and especially your children shapes how they see him and how he feels about himself in your relationship.

Ask for His Advice

When you’re facing challenges, ask for his perspective. Even if you ultimately handle things differently, seeking his input shows you value his wisdom.

Apologize When You Mess Up

When you do tear him down (and we all do sometimes), apologize sincerely and make an effort to change the pattern.

Tools to help: Consider using apps like Gratitude or Day One to keep track of things you appreciate about your husband. Writing them down makes you more aware of the positive aspects of your relationship.

When Treatment Like a King Goes Wrong (Red Flags to Watch)

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room: when treating your husband like a king becomes problematic. This approach only works in healthy relationships where both partners are committed to mutual respect and care.

Warning signs that this dynamic has become unhealthy:

One-Sided Effort

If you’re constantly giving but receiving nothing in return, that’s not treating each other like royalty, that’s servitude. Healthy relationships require reciprocity.

Loss of Your Own Identity

If you find yourself completely absorbed in making him happy at the expense of your own needs, goals, and well-being, you’ve gone too far.

He Expects Rather Than Appreciates

When special treatment becomes an expectation rather than something he’s grateful for, the dynamic has shifted to entitlement.

You Feel Resentful

If treating him well makes you angry or resentful instead of happy, something is out of balance in your relationship.

He Doesn’t Treat You Like a Queen in Return

The goal is mutual elevation. If he’s not making efforts to make you feel special and valued, you need to address this imbalance.

How to course-correct:

Communicate your needs clearly and expect them to be met

Set boundaries about what you will and won’t do

Take breaks from giving if you’re feeling depleted

Seek counseling if these patterns persist despite your efforts

Remember that you deserve to be treated like a queen too

Resources for support: If you’re struggling with these issues, consider using platforms like BetterHelp or Talkspace to connect with a therapist who can help you navigate these challenges.

Creating a Partnership Where You Both Feel Like Royalty

The ultimate goal of treating your husband like a king is creating a marriage where both partners feel valued, respected, and cherished. This isn’t about one person serving the other, it’s about mutual elevation and support.

What healthy royal treatment looks like in both directions:

Mutual Respect

Both partners speak kindly to and about each other, value each other’s opinions, and treat each other as equals with different strengths.

Shared Appreciation

Both people actively look for and acknowledge the positive contributions their partner makes to the relationship and family.

Balanced Give and Take

Sometimes you’re the giver, sometimes you’re the receiver. Over time, it balances out naturally without keeping score.

Individual Identity Maintenance

Both partners maintain their own interests, friendships, and goals while also investing in the relationship.

Conflict Resolution Skills

You disagree respectfully and work together to find solutions rather than trying to win arguments.

Shared Vision

You’re both working toward common goals and dreams while supporting each other’s individual aspirations.

Creating this dynamic requires:

Regular communication about needs, wants, and feelings
Willingness to adjust approaches based on what works for your specific relationship
Patience as you both learn new patterns and habits
Forgiveness when either of you falls short of the ideal
Commitment to the process even when it feels challenging

IMO, the best marriages feel like partnerships between two people who genuinely like and respect each other, not just love each other. When you achieve this, treating each other like royalty becomes natural and joyful rather than forced or resentful.

Making It Sustainable: Long-Term Strategies

Treating your husband like a king can’t be a short-term project that you abandon when life gets busy or stressful. The couples I work with who have truly transformed their marriages are those who make these practices sustainable over the long haul.

Keys to long-term success:

Start Small and Build Gradually

Don’t try to implement every suggestion at once. Pick 2-3 things that feel natural to you and focus on making them habits before adding more.

Make It Mutual

Have conversations about how you both want to feel valued in your relationship. Create a system where you’re both actively working to make each other feel special.

Adjust for Life Seasons

Recognize that how you show love and appreciation will change based on what’s happening in your lives new babies, job stress, health issues, etc.

Keep It Authentic

Don’t force gestures that don’t feel genuine to you. Find ways to show appreciation and love that align with your personality and values.

Regular Check-Ins

Schedule monthly or quarterly conversations about how you’re both feeling in the relationship and what adjustments might be helpful.

Celebrate Progress

Acknowledge improvements in your relationship and appreciate the effort both of you are putting in.

Tools for sustainability:

Use Google Calendar to schedule regular date nights and special gestures
Set reminders in apps like Any.do for thoughtful surprises
Keep a shared note in Evernote or Notion with ideas for making each other feel special
Use Lasting or similar marriage apps for ongoing relationship support

The goal is creating patterns that become second nature, not constant effort that exhausts you.

Your Royal Marriage Starts Today

Treating your husband like a king isn’t about losing yourself or becoming his servant. It’s about consciously choosing to make your partner feel valued, respected, and loved, and inspiring him to do the same for you.

The most successful marriages I’ve worked with share one common trait: both partners actively work to make each other feel special. They understand that love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a daily choice to prioritize your relationship and your partner’s well-being.

Pick one thing from this article that resonates with you and try it for a week. Maybe it’s giving him a genuine complement each morning, asking his opinion on a decision you’re making, or simply greeting him with enthusiasm when he comes home.

Remember, the goal isn’t perfection, it’s progress. Every small gesture of love and appreciation builds toward a stronger, happier marriage. And isn’t that what we all want? A partnership that feels like the best part of our lives rather than another item on our to-do list.

Your husband fell in love with an amazing woman. Let him feel like the luckiest king in the world forgetting to spend his life with you.

Final Thoughts

Treating your husband like a king is about showing love, respect, and appreciation in meaningful ways. It’s not about spoiling him or ignoring your own needs, but about creating balance where both partners feel valued.

Simple acts like acknowledging his efforts, supporting his dreams, and keeping the romance alive can make him feel cherished.

When you combine kindness with open communication and mutual respect, you build a partnership where both of you feel like royalty. True love thrives when both partners uplift and celebrate each other daily.

Watch what happens when you approach your marriage with the intention of making your husband feel like royalty. I’m willing to bet that within a few weeks, you’ll start feeling like the queen you’ve always been 🙂