Let’s have some real talk, girl to girl. You want to absolutely blow his mind in the bedroom, right? Maybe you’ve been together for a while and things are feeling a bit… routine. Or perhaps you’re with someone new and want to make sure he never forgets you.
Here’s what I’ve learned after years of helping couples transform their intimate lives: pleasing your man in bed isn’t about performing tricks or becoming someone you’re not. It’s about confidence, connection, and knowing exactly what drives him wild. Trust me, once you master these techniques, he’ll be completely addicted to you.
How Can I Attract My Man In Bed?
Before we jump into the juicy details, let’s talk about attraction. The most powerful aphrodisiac isn’t what you wear or what moves you make – it’s genuine desire. When you truly want him and he can feel that energy radiating from you, it’s absolutely intoxicating.
I’ve worked with countless women who think they need to be porn stars to keep their men interested. Wrong! What men really crave is a woman who owns her sexuality and isn’t afraid to show how much she wants them. It’s that raw, authentic hunger that makes them weak in the knees.
The secret sauce? Make him feel like the most desirable man on the planet. When you look at him like you could devour him whole, when your touch lingers just a little longer than necessary, when you whisper in his ear how much you need him – that’s when magic happens.
What Can I Do To Please My Man In Bed?
Ready for the truth? Men are actually pretty simple creatures when it comes to intimacy. They want to feel wanted, appreciated, and like they’re driving you absolutely crazy with pleasure. The key is learning to communicate that through both your words and actions.
Here’s what really matters:
- Show genuine enthusiasm for being with him
- Pay attention to his responses and adapt accordingly
- Be present and engaged instead of going through the motions
- Don’t be afraid to take initiative and show your desires
- Make him feel like a champion in bed
Remember, every man is different, so what works for one might not work for another. The real skill is learning to read your specific partner and understanding what makes him tick.
Why Is It Important To Keep Your Sex Life Exciting?
Let me share something I see all the time in my practice: couples who prioritize their intimate connection have stronger, happier relationships overall. Sexual satisfaction isn’t just about physical pleasure – it’s about emotional bonding, stress relief, and maintaining that special connection that separates romantic partners from roommates.
The benefits of an exciting intimate life include:
- Increased emotional intimacy and trust
- Better communication in all areas of the relationship
- Reduced stress and improved mental health
- Stronger physical and emotional bond
- Higher relationship satisfaction overall
When you make the effort to keep things exciting, you’re investing in the long-term health of your relationship. Plus, let’s be honest – it’s way more fun than letting things get boring!
15 Ways To Please Your Man In Bed
Alright, here’s where we get into the good stuff. These aren’t just random tips – they’re proven strategies that I’ve seen transform relationships. Take what resonates with you and leave what doesn’t. The goal is to enhance your natural connection, not turn you into someone you’re not.
1. Se#t Him
Se#ting is like foreplay that starts hours before you’re even in the same room. And trust me, when done right, it’s incredibly powerful. You’re not just turning him on you’re building anticipation and keeping yourself on his mind all day long.
I had a client who started sending her husband flirty messages during his workday. She told me, “He used to come home stressed and distracted. Now he practically runs through the door.” The key is being authentic and playful, not trying to sound like someone you’re not.
Start simple:
- “Can’t stop thinking about last night…”
- “Counting down the hours until I have you all to myself”
- “I have plans for you when you get home.”
Don’t overthink it. The fact that you’re thinking about him intimately and taking the time to tell him is incredibly appealing. Work up to more explicit messages as you get comfortable with the dynamic.
2. Be Flirty
Flirting shouldn’t stop just because you’re in a relationship. In fact, it becomes even more important for maintaining that spark and sexual tension. The goal is to make him feel like you’re still choosing him every day, not just going through the motions.
I love watching couples who still flirt with each other – they have this electric energy that’s absolutely magnetic. They touch each other casually but meaningfully, exchange knowing glances, and create little moments of tension throughout the day.
Try these flirting strategies:
- Brush against him “accidentally” when you walk by
- Give him that look that says you’re undressing him with your eyes
- Whisper something suggestive in his ear when others are around
- Send him photos that hint at what’s to come later
The key is building anticipation. Don’t give him everything at once. Let the tension simmer and build throughout the day.
3. Give Him A Striptease
Okay, I know this one might make some of you nervous, but hear me out. A striptease isn’t about being a professional dancer – it’s about confidence and building anticipation. It’s you saying, “I want you to want me, and I’m going to make sure you do.”
You don’t need perfect moves or fancy costumes. What matters is the energy you bring to it. Set the mood with some music, dim lighting, and your favorite lingerie or something that makes you feel sexy.
Remember these key points:
- Go slow and maintain eye contact
- Focus on how you feel rather than how you look
- Build anticipation by taking your time
- Let your personality shine through – playful, mysterious, whatever feels right
I’ve had clients tell me this single act transformed how their partners saw them. It shows confidence, effort, and desire all rolled into one incredibly powerful package.
4. Initiate Sex
Men get tired of always being the one to make the first move. When you initiate, you’re telling him that you desire him, that you think about him sexually, and that you’re not just passively participating in your intimate life.
One client shared with me: “I realized I was basically waiting for my husband to seduce me every single time. When I started initiating, everything changed. He told me it made him feel incredibly wanted and attractive.”
Initiation doesn’t have to be complicated:
- Start kissing him when he’s not expecting it
- Tell him directly that you want him
- Begin touching him in a way that clearly signals your intentions
- Create opportunities for intimacy by setting the scene
The psychology here is powerful. When you initiate, you’re taking ownership of your desires and showing him that he’s not the only one who craves physical connection.
5. Take It Outside The Bedroom
Spontaneity is incredibly exciting, and limiting yourself to the bedroom can make things feel routine and predictable. When you’re willing to be adventurous with location, you’re showing him that your desire for him is so strong that it can’t wait.
I’m not saying you need to get crazy or do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Even small changes can have big impacts. The kitchen counter, the living room couch, or even the car can provide that element of novelty that keeps things exciting.
Why this works so well:
- It breaks routine and adds excitement
- Shows spontaneous desire that can’t be contained
- Creates memorable experiences
- Demonstrates that you’re willing to prioritize intimacy
Safety and comfort are key, so always make sure you’re both on the same page about trying new locations.
6. Keep Eye Contact
Eye contact during intimate moments is incredibly powerful because it creates emotional connection alongside physical pleasure. It shows confidence, presence, and genuine engagement with what’s happening.
I’ve had many clients tell me this was a game-changer for their relationships. One woman said, “My husband told me that when I look at him during intimate moments, he feels completely connected to me. It’s like I’m telling him with my eyes how much I want him.”
Here’s why eye contact is so effective:
- It shows you’re present and engaged
- Creates emotional intimacy alongside physical pleasure
- Demonstrates confidence and comfort with your sexuality
- Allows you to communicate without words
Don’t force it if it feels uncomfortable at first. Build up to longer periods of eye contact as you get more comfortable with the intensity.
7. Take Control
Being sexually assertive is incredibly attractive because it shows you know what you want and you’re not afraid to go after it. When you take control, you’re demonstrating confidence and showing him that you’re an active, enthusiastic participant.
This doesn’t mean you have to be dominant all the time or do anything that doesn’t feel natural to you. It’s about occasionally flipping the script and showing him your assertive side.
Ways to take control:
- Get on top and set the pace
- Guide his hands where you want them
- Tell him what you want him to do
- Take charge of foreplay and build-up
The key is authenticity. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, but don’t be afraid to explore different sides of your personality either.
8. Use Your Voice
Your voice is one of your most powerful tools for driving him wild. Men are incredibly responsive to audio cues, and hearing you express pleasure is incredibly validating and exciting for them.
I know some women feel self-conscious about making noise, but trust me on this: he wants to hear how good he’s making you feel. It’s not about performing or being fake – it’s about letting your genuine responses show.
Why is vocal expression so important?
- It gives him feedback about what’s working
- Shows your genuine enjoyment and engagement
- Creates a more immersive experience for both of you
- Boosts his confidence and performance
Don’t worry about sounding perfect. Authentic sounds of pleasure are far more exciting than anything rehearsed or performed.
9. Communicate Your Feelings
Communication during intimacy isn’t just about physical preferences – it’s about expressing how he makes you feel emotionally and physically. When you tell him how amazing he is, how much you want him, or how good he makes you feel, you’re feeding his need to feel successful and desired.
I always tell my clients: men need validation just as much as women do, especially in intimate settings. They want to know they’re pleasing you, that you find them attractive, and that you genuinely enjoy being with them.
Try expressing:
- How attractive do you find him
- How good he makes you feel
- What you love about being with him
- How much do you want and need him
The goal is genuine expression, not empty flattery. Share what you really feel and think about him.
10. Match His Energy
Enthusiasm is contagious, and nothing kills the mood faster than feeling like your partner is just going through the motions. When you match his energy and show genuine excitement, you create a feedback loop that intensifies the experience for both of you.
This doesn’t mean you have to be wildly energetic all the time. Sometimes matching his energy means being tender and slow, other times it means being passionate and intense. The key is being present and engaged with what’s happening between you.
Signs you’re matching his energy:
- You’re actively participating, not just receiving
- You’re responding to his cues and adjusting accordingly
- You’re showing genuine excitement and engagement
- You’re contributing to the rhythm and flow of the experience
11. Be Confident
Confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac because it shows you’re comfortable with yourself and your sexuality. When you own your desires and aren’t afraid to express them, it’s incredibly attractive and freeing for both of you.
I’ve worked with so many women who think they need to look perfect or perform perfectly to be attractive. The truth is, confidence in who you are is far more appealing than any physical attribute.
Building sexual confidence:
- Focus on how you feel rather than how you look
- Practice self-acceptance and body positivity
- Remember that he chose to be with you for a reason
- Embrace your unique desires and preferences
Confidence grows with practice, so be patient with yourself as you explore this side of your personality.
12. Be Spontaneous
Predictability is the enemy of excitement. When you surprise him with spontaneous intimate moments, you’re showing him that your desire for him is so strong it can strike at any moment.
Spontaneity doesn’t have to mean elaborate plans or crazy scenarios. Sometimes the most powerful spontaneous moments are the simplest ones – grabbing him for a kiss when he’s not expecting it, initiating something when you normally wouldn’t, or suggesting something different from your usual routine.
Ideas for spontaneous intimacy:
- Surprise him when he comes home from work
- Initiate something during an unexpected moment
- Change up your usual routine or timing
- Be adventurous with location or approach
The goal is to keep him guessing and show him that your attraction to him is unpredictable and exciting.
13. Please Him
Sometimes the most generous thing you can do is make it all about him. Plan an intimate session where your sole focus is his pleasure and satisfaction. This kind of generous attention is incredibly meaningful and memorable.
This doesn’t mean you should always sacrifice your own pleasure, but occasionally focusing entirely on him shows incredible thoughtfulness and desire. It tells him that his pleasure matters to you and that you find joy in making him feel amazing.
Ways to focus on his pleasure:
- Explore his body and pay attention to his responses
- Ask him what he wants or fantasizes about
- Take time to discover what drives him wild
- Show enthusiasm for pleasing him specifically
This kind of attention creates incredible intimacy and often leads to him wanting to reciprocate in amazing ways.
14. Practice Kegels
Kegel exercises aren’t just for health benefits – they can significantly enhance your intimate experiences and his. When you have good pelvic floor muscle control, you can create sensations that will absolutely blow his mind.
Kegel exercises involve contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. The stronger these muscles are, the more control you have during intimate moments.
Benefits of Kegels:
- Increased sensation for both partners
- Better muscle control during intimacy
- Enhanced ability to reach climax
- Improved overall pelvic health
You can practice Kegels anywhere, anytime – nobody will even know you’re doing them. Just contract your pelvic muscles like you’re stopping the flow of urine, hold for a few seconds, then release.
15. Improve Your Diet
What you eat affects everything about your intimate life – your energy levels, your natural scent and taste, and your overall confidence and well-being. When you feel good about yourself, it shows in every aspect of your relationship.
Certain foods can enhance your natural chemistry and make intimate moments more enjoyable for both of you. Foods like pineapple, watermelon, and cranberries can improve your natural taste, while foods high in antioxidants boost your energy and overall health.
Foods that can enhance intimacy:
- Fresh fruits, especially pineapple and berries
- Plenty of water for hydration
- Foods rich in zinc and vitamin E
- Dark chocolate for mood and energy
Avoid foods that can negatively impact intimacy: excessive alcohol, heavily processed foods, and anything that makes you feel sluggish or uncomfortable.
Final Thoughts
Making your man happy in bed is not just about physical pleasure, it’s also about love, care, and connection. The little things you do like showing confidence, being open to try new things, and paying attention to what he enjoys can make a big difference.
At the end of the day, the most important part is communication and enjoying each other. When you both feel safe, loved, and respected, the passion will flow naturally. Keep it fun, keep it real, and your bond will only grow stronger.
Now go forth and create some magic together! Your relationship (and your man) will thank you for the effort 🙂
