Hey there! Can I be honest with you for a minute? When I first heard the phrase “respect your husband,” I rolled my eyes so hard they nearly fell out of my head. I mean, seriously?
In this day and age? But after years of working with couples and seeing countless marriages transform, I’ve learned something pretty amazing, respect isn’t about being submissive or losing yourself. It’s about creating a partnership where both people thrive.
And trust me, I get it. The whole concept can feel outdated or even offensive. But here’s the thing, mutual respect is the secret sauce that makes marriages sizzle instead of fizzle.
So, grab your favorite drink, get comfy, and let’s chat about what respecting your husband really means (spoiler alert: it has nothing to do with becoming a 1950s housewife).
What Does It Mean To Respect Your Husband?
Let’s clear the air right away. Respecting your husband doesn’t mean you become his personal cheerleader who never disagrees with anything he says. That’s not respect, that’s called being a doormat, and honey, nobody’s got time for that!
Real respect means recognizing your husband as an equal partner whose thoughts, feelings, and contributions matter. It’s about creating space for his voice in your shared life together. Think of it like this, you know how amazing it feels when someone really listens to you and values your opinion? That’s the feeling you’re creating for him.
I’ve noticed in my practice that many women struggle with this concept because they think it means giving up their own voice. But here’s what I’ve learned: when you respect someone, you’re actually building a foundation where both voices can be heard more clearly. It’s like clearing the static from a radio, suddenly, the music sounds so much better.
Respect also means trusting his judgment (within reason, we’re not talking about letting him invest your life savings in cryptocurrency without discussion!). It’s acknowledging that he brings unique strengths and perspectives to your relationship. And yes, it sometimes means biting your tongue when you want to say “I told you so” though let’s be real, that’s hard for all of us 🙂
Why Should You Respect Your Husband?
Okay, I know some of you are thinking, “But why should I respect him if he doesn’t respect me?” Fair question! But here’s something fascinating I’ve discovered through years of couples therapy, respect creates more respect. It’s like a positive feedback loop.
When you show genuine respect for your partner, something magical happens. Their confidence grows, they feel valued, and guess what? They start treating you with more respect too. I’ve seen it happen countless times in my office. Couples who were practically at each other’s throats suddenly start communicating like actual partners again.
Respect motivates people to be their best selves. Think about your own life, don’t you perform better when you feel appreciated and valued? Your husband is the same way. When he feels respected, he’s more likely to step up, contribute more to the household, and be the partner you actually want him to be.
How Do I Make My Husband Feel Respected?
Start with your words. The way you speak to him and about him sets the tone for everything else. Instead of saying “You never help around the house,” try “I’d really appreciate your help with the dishes tonight.” See the difference? Same message, totally different energy.
Listen to him like you actually care about what he’s saying. I know this sounds obvious, but how many times have you half-listened while scrolling your phone? Guilty as charged over here! But seriously, put down the phone, make eye contact, and engage with what he’s telling you.
Include him in decisions that affect both of you. This doesn’t mean you need his permission to buy a coffee, but major purchases, parenting decisions, or changes to your shared routine? Yeah, loop him in. It shows you value his input and see him as an equal partner. And here’s a big one, say thank you for the things he already does. Even if it’s something you think he should be doing anyway. Trust me on this one, appreciation is like relationship rocket fuel.
10 Ways To Show Your Husband Respect
1. Involve Him in Decision-Making
This one is crucial, and honestly, it’s where many couples slip up. Your husband isn’t just a roommate or a background character in your life he’s your partner. And partnership means being part of the decision-making process, especially when those decisions impact your shared life.
This doesn’t mean you need to consult him on every little thing what to have for lunch or which show to stream is your call. But when it comes to the bigger stuff career moves, financial commitments, parenting choices, or relocating those are conversations you should be having together.
Here’s how that plays out in everyday life: Instead of booking a vacation and announcing it afterward, make it a joint planning experience.
Instead of enrolling your child in pricey extracurriculars on your own, talk about the budget and schedule with him first. The key is making decisions with him, not just informing him after the fact.
2. Support His Goals And Ideas
Ever had someone shoot down your dreams before you even finished explaining them? It sucks, right?
Don’t be that person for your husband.
We’ve all had that experience sharing a dream or idea, only to have it dismissed before we can even finish explaining. It stings. Don’t be that person for your husband.
Supporting his goals doesn’t mean blindly agreeing with every idea he has. If he’s considering a major leap like leaving a stable job to pursue something unconventional it’s absolutely okay to raise concerns. But there’s a big difference between offering thoughtful feedback and shutting him down completely.
Start by listening with an open mind. Ask questions. Try to see the vision behind his ideas. Then, if you have doubts, express them in a way that communicates care and collaboration, not criticism.
Support can take many forms: believing in him when he’s doubting himself, helping him map out a plan, or even just giving him space to try and fail. Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do is let him learn through experience even when it’s tough to watch.
3. Thank And Compliment Him
This is probably the easiest thing on this list, yet it’s the one I see couples skip most often. When’s the last time you genuinely thanked your husband for something?
I’m not talking about a generic “thanks honey” thrown over your shoulder. I mean really looking at him and saying something specific like, “Thank you for taking the initiative to fix the leaky faucet. I know you had a long day at work, and I really appreciate that you took care of it.”
I’m not talking about a casual “thanks, babe” in passing. I mean taking a moment to look him in the eye and say something specific, like, “Thank you for fixing the faucet last night. I know you were tired after work, and I really appreciate that you took the time.”
That kind of targeted appreciation hits differently. It shows you’re paying attention not just to what he misses, but to what he contributes.
And don’t underestimate the power of a good compliment. Tell him when he looks great. Brag about his skills in front of others.
Acknowledge when he handles a situation with grace or strength. Men, just like anyone else, need to feel seen and valued especially by the person they love most.
4. Celebrate His Successes
This one makes me a little sad because I see so many couples who’ve forgotten how to be happy for each other. When your husband wins, you win too. His successes benefit your whole family.
Celebrating doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. It can be as simple as saying “I’m so proud of you” and meaning it. Or making his favorite dinner to acknowledge a work promotion. Or just taking a moment to recognize his achievements instead of immediately moving on to the next task.
I worked with one couple where the wife had gotten into the habit of responding to her husband’s good news with her own stress or problems. When he got promoted, instead of celebrating, she immediately started worrying about the increased responsibilities. It made him stop sharing good news with her entirely.
5. Accept Your Faults And Ask For Forgiveness When You’re Wrong
Oh boy, this is a tough one for everyone! Nobody likes to admit they messed up, but healthy relationships require healthy accountability.
When you’ve hurt your husband’s feelings, criticized him unfairly, or made a mistake that affects him, own it. A real apology has three parts: acknowledge what you did wrong, take responsibility for how it affected him, and commit to doing better.
Here’s what this doesn’t mean: You don’t have to apologize for having opinions, setting boundaries, or standing up for yourself. There’s a difference between being wrong and being different.
I’ve noticed that couples who get good at apologizing to each other fight less and resolve conflicts faster. It’s like they create a safe space where both people can mess up without the relationship falling apart.
6. Keep Your Expectations From Him Reasonable And Realistic
We all have expectations in relationships, that’s normal and healthy. But unrealistic expectations are relationship killers. They set your husband up to fail before he even tries.
This means understanding his actual capabilities, not the idealized version you have in your head. If he’s naturally introverted, expecting him to be the life of every party is unfair. If he’s not handy, expecting him to renovate your entire house might be a stretch.
Focus on effort over perfection. Is he trying to meet you halfway? That matters more than whether he does things exactly the way you would.
I see this a lot with household tasks. One partner has very specific ideas about how things should be done, and when the other partner doesn’t meet those exact standards, it becomes a source of constant conflict. Sometimes good enough really is good enough.
7. Don’t Nag Him Or Criticize Him In The Presence Of Others
This is relationship respect 101, folks. Public criticism is public humiliation, and it damages more than just the moment, it damages trust.
If you have an issue with your husband, handle it privately. Calling him out in front of friends, family, or especially your kids creates shame and resentment that’s hard to come back from.
I get it, sometimes you’re frustrated and it just comes out. But making this a habit will slowly erode his willingness to be vulnerable with you. Nobody wants to be married to their biggest critic.
Save the corrections and complaints for when you’re alone together. And when you do address issues, focus on the behavior, not his character. “You forgot to take out the trash” is different from “You’re so forgetful.”
8. Don’t Compare Him To Other Men
Comparison really is the thief of joy, and the thief of respect in marriages. Every time you compare your husband to another man, you’re essentially telling him he’s not good enough.
This includes comparing him to your friend’s husband, your dad, men in movies, or even the version of himself from earlier in your relationship. Each comparison chips away at his confidence and your connection.
Instead of focusing on what other men do that he doesn’t, focus on what he does bring to your relationship. Every person has different strengths, and your husband’s worth isn’t determined by how he measures up to someone else.
If there’s something another couple does that you’d like to try in your own relationship, frame it as a suggestion, not a comparison. “I noticed how John and Sarah handle their finances, and I wondered if some of their strategies might work for us too.”
9. Be Kind And Thoughtful To His Family And Friends
This one can be tricky because let’s face it, not everyone’s in-laws are a dream to deal with! But how you treat the people your husband cares about reflects how you feel about him.
You don’t have to be best friends with everyone in his circle, but basic kindness and respect go a long way. Make an effort to remember important details about their lives. Include them in invitations when appropriate. Defend him when they’re not around (within reason).
I’ve seen marriages where one partner’s hostility toward the other’s family created ongoing tension and resentment. You don’t have to love his people, but you do need to respect that he does.
If there are legitimate issues with his family or friends, address those conversations privately with your husband. Don’t make him choose between you and them unless it’s absolutely necessary.
10. Spend Quality Time With Him
In our busy lives, intentional time together often gets pushed to the bottom of the priority list. But your relationship needs regular investment to stay strong.
Quality time doesn’t mean just being in the same room while you both scroll your phones. It means actual engagement and connection. Put the devices away, make eye contact, and be present with each other.
This could be a weekly date night, a morning coffee together before the kids wake up, or a evening walk around the neighborhood. The activity matters less than the intention behind it.
Other Ways To Show Respect To Your Husband
Beyond the main ten, there are countless small ways to show respect daily. These little gestures often have the biggest impact on how connected and appreciated your husband feels.
11. Give Him Space
Everyone needs breathing room, even in the best relationships. This doesn’t mean he gets to disappear for days without communication, but it does mean respecting his need for some downtime or guy time.
Maybe he needs an hour to decompress after work before diving into family activities. Maybe he wants to play video games with his friends on Friday nights. Maybe he just needs to go for a drive by himself sometimes.
Giving space shows trust and respect for his autonomy. It also makes the time you do spend together more meaningful because you’re both choosing to be there.
12. Honor Your Husband Even In His Absence
This is about loyalty and integrity. How you talk about your husband when he’s not around says everything about how much you respect him.
That doesn’t mean you can’t vent to friends when you’re frustrated, we all need that outlet sometimes. But there’s a difference between seeking support and bashing your partner to anyone who’ll listen.
Speak well of him in public. Defend him when others criticize him unfairly. Be his biggest cheerleader, not his biggest critic.
13. Accept His Imperfections
Here’s the truth, your husband is going to disappoint you sometimes. He’s going to have bad days, make mistakes, and do things that annoy you. That’s called being human.
Accepting his imperfections doesn’t mean you ignore red flags or accept genuinely harmful behavior. It means loving the real person, not the perfect version you wish existed.
Focus on his heart and his effort rather than keeping score of every mistake. Choose to see the best in him, especially when he’s not at his best.
Final Thoughts
The beautiful thing about respect is that it’s contagious. When you show genuine respect for your partner, they typically start reflecting that back to you. It creates an upward spiral instead of the downward spiral that criticism and contempt create.
It’s in how you speak to him, how you listen to him, and how you treat him both in public and private. These choices add up to create the overall tone of your relationship.
So, what do you say? Ready to try some of these strategies and see what happens? I’d love to hear how it goes! Your future selves (and your marriage) will thank you for it.
